Everybody is talking about them, and for some it’s a confusing path, lots of information, lots of methods, lots of how to’s. But there are some very clear things that we need to look at before we get stuck into the methodology of, “How do we set a goal”.
One of things I discovered when I started using the Wellness model with clients, was the importance of checking the goals ecologically. This meant asking – did the goals really fit where they wanted to be, did it fit with their life, their family, their values. Most importantly, was it their goal or was it what someone else wanted for them.
We are unique, we’re not imprints of someone else. We have to be sure that the goals we create fit us.
Do they look like us and the us we want to be come? Ultimately, we are the ones who need to drive it, find energy for it, keep it alive, and if it’s to please someone else, it will lose energy and momentum.
Once we have established that it’s the goal we want for ourselves, there are some important things we need to do.
It’s only us who can change us – no one else can do that.
We need to focus on it, focus on the change, because nothing happens from a ‘should do’ – it needs to be a ‘must do’. Wherever our mind goes, be assured the rest of us will follow.
So, we make a choice to focus on the goal; build up our internal muscles, resist the negative by pushing against those negative urges. If we actually start the day with our focus on the goal, we start in a strong position and we are better able to deal with what ever comes our way for the day.
Another important thing is to face your FEAR – get over it. After all these years of working with people (counseling and coaching) I have learned that everyone has FEAR. Fear has the capacity to stop us from doing things. We can be our worst enemy. We all put strategies in place to avoid fear. When instead we should recognize fear and learn to dance with it – instead of letting it rob us.
People will always get in your way and try to stop you achieving. Sometimes it comes from those who are closest to you who love you, because they don’t want to be left behind. Sometimes our successes make others feel inferior or insecure and sometimes some people just don’t like you and don’t want you to succeed.
Problems are part of life, we have to get used to it. At any moment we can be upset about anything.
You can’t always control the events of your life, but you can control what it means to you. You can’t always control what’s on the outside, but you can control the inside, how you respond.
I am passionate about working this through with people. Let me know if you’d like help assessing your priorities and pinning down those goals.
We can all reach out, stretch those muscles and grab hold of our future.